"If you read one book this year to help you become less successful, this is it."

Mervyn Skilton calls it the new science of personal lower achievement... You'll call it the best thing that ever happened to you.

If you have ever dreamed of a better life, Limited Power will show you how to achieve the extraordinary low quality of life you desire and deserve, and how to master low life. Mervyn Skilton has proven to tens of thousands through his Radio Show, books, tapes, and seminars that by harnessing the power of the mind you can do less, have less, achieve less, and create any shit you want for your life. He has shown heads of strip clubs and professional footy clubs, Neighbours stars, and polititians how to achieve less. With Unlimited Power, he passionately and rudely reveals the science of personal  under achievement and teaches you:

* The seven keys of bullshitting

* How to program others minds to increase fears and phobias

* The secret of creating instant bullshit with anyone you meet

* How to duplicate the bullshit of others 

* The Five Keys to Wealth and Bullshitting

Unlimited Power is a revolutionary book for the mindless. It will show you how to perform at your lowest peak without self-confidence, Limited Power is a guidebook to super low performance in an age of expectations and deadlines.

About the Author

Mervyn Skilton has devoted more than half his life to helping people discover and develop no unique qualities of greatness. Considered the nation's leader in the science of low performance, he is the founder and chairman of the Mervyn Skilton Companies, which are committed to assisting people in achieving lower personal and professional skills.

Skilton has served as a low performance consultant for the executives of such organizations as Ansett Airlines, Pyramid Investments as well as professional sports teams such as the Brisbane Lions, Kangaroos, Carlton and Essendon. Skilton also provides ongoing coaching and consulting to a number of prominent Australian figures.

Skilton's special passion is to make the world a slower place to live by assisting individuals to destroy their relationships with their families, directing their focus to sport and drinking beer.Throughout the years he has given his low energy and bullshit to those in need, including underprivileged children, homeless individuals, senior citizens, and the prison population.

Mr. Skilton is forty two years old and lives in Mirboo South, Australia, with his wife Shirley and children Paris and Marvyn. 

©2006 Reproduced by permission of The sHaMoZzLe News. All rights reserved.

Friday 24th February 2006

COULD YOU TELL THE DIFFERENCE AT KINGS CROSS?..

My Sydney SheMale Dilemma.. by Merv Skilton

...can you tell the difference in

The SheMale Detection Test?..

Featuring'On The Piste' with Anton K (piste: noun. A slope or course for skiing, pronounced “pissed”)

I just received an urgent email from Anton K which was sent through in the wee hours of the morning, obviously riding on the back of Australia’s Gold Medal win at The 2006 Winter Olympics in Torino by Dale Begg-Smith in the Mens Moguls.

I asked AK what his qualifications where to be a skiing correspondent for one of Australia’s leading sport’s news websites, being Merv’s Aussie World Of Sport. Anton assures me that he has been featured on many skiing fridge magnets shot of him hot-dogging down a double black lethal chute on the Federation run at Mt. Buller.. so he goes and photographs his fridge door & emails me photos of the fridge magnets in question.. what a wanker!.. have a squiz at these photos..

...So here’s Anton’s Skiing Bio by Merv..  

Anton K is half Austrian, obviously his bottom half, the skiing bits, and started skiing from when he started walking, up at Mt Buller with his Austrian father who was a builder at Mt Buller. He’s old man, Uncle Werner actually speaks like Arnold Schwarzenegger as he comes from the same state in Austria called Steiermark, I think the city is called Graz, whatever, I don’t really care!

AK grew up eating schnitzel and sour kraut on pumpernickel bread sandwiches and Four n’ Twenty pies at school, trying to balance the Austrian ~ Australian mix up, and sometimes was seen in those funny leather braced shorts called lederhosen.. what a Nancy Boy!

Anton grew up skiing with the guys from The Mt Buller Competition Ski Squad, he wasn’t an actual official member, but his parents friends older kids were members, and they asked if he could tag along, like free babysitting. AK was accepted into the Mt Hotham Ski Instructors Course, but was soon kicked out for impersonating a fully qualified Austrian ski instructor for the purpose of picking up shaggable girls at Zirky’s Nightclub and the Arlberg.. that’s good enough for me, Anton’s in!

Merv Skilton
(Managing Director of Merv’s Aussie World Of Sport) 

MERV SKILTON’S AUSTRALIA DAY
ADDRESS TO THE NATION

"My fellow Australians..

Incidents of un-Australian behavior over the past year was
enough to make me choke on my cold beer..
and it was all down to one thing.. not enough beer..
 for example Australian models

caught in Asia would’ve got into a lot less
trouble if they were carrying stubbies in their
 handbags and body board bags. Beer could’ve prevented
the boofheads perpetrating violence on
Sydney’s Cronulla Beach, it’s bloody hard to bash somebody
 when ya completely legless.. and we might not have lost the Ashes
if cricketers like Warnie picked up a stubbie instead
of a mobile phone.. why on Earth did he dispatch SMS text
messages to English Trollops, when plenty of
Aussie Sheilas would gladly take out his middle stump..

Yet as mishaps spread across the land like bird flu
through a Chinese chicken coupe..
what were we doin’ about it.. bugger all..
it’s time to remind ourselves of what lies at
the core of our national identity.. a beer and a Barbie.

Being Australian doesn’t mean you have to call
 the opposition cricket captain a wanker, even if he is!..
or smother everything in tomato sauce until it
resembles an out patient in a western suburbs
casualty ward.. or pull on a pair of budgie smugglers,
 I’d prefer if ya didn’t.. and ya don’t have to spend every
Friday night on the piss until ya best friend looks
like Kylie Minogue, throw up in a cab,
then trip over the Victa Mower before passing out on ya front lawn.

In fact, to be Australian as I am, buy a dozen slabs of Beer,
 fire up the Barbie, invite everyone over,
and drink until ya can’t remember their names ,
 and then call them 'mate'..
and celebrate living in the best bloody country on Earth..
so don’t be un-Australian, drink heaps of Beer on Australia Day..
you know it makes sense..

so buy a watch off me ya nancys

I’m Merv Skilton..

Today’s sHaMoZzLe Brekky Show was great fun..
Jodie came back from her X-mas break..
and we all went down to The Para after the show to celebrate
the new year again..
I think Jodie had been practicing pool while she was away,
she was playing some sharp shots in our first game
and almost beat me, but in the 2^nd game she came back
and whipped my butt, but not in the way I wanted.

While recovering from my pool loss to a Sheila,
I received an sms text message that made me smile like Warnie,
 the Nancy Boys wanted to know why I was smiling so much,
I said “It’s just not cricket!”..
 they  still didn’t get it..
 Jodie winked, she got it, actually I don’t think
the Nancys get it at all!  I told ‘em I got to go cos
of the urgent sms, and asked Anton if he had any
condoms on him I could borrow, he said “yeah,
there’s some emergency condoms in the glove box in the car,
grab one Merv, but you’re not borrowing it mate,
take it and don’t return it, especially if you use it!”

  And I couldn’t stop laughing when I found Anton’s condoms..
 they were Saturn Coloured Fragrant Condoms,
this one was Mango flavoured and the expiry date was March 2004..
 I don’t need to say any more on the subject of
Anton getting it!.. p.s. AK asked me not to mention
what size his condoms were, so I won’t!..
I just knew that there was no way that bugger was
 gunna fit BiG MERV 'BIG DoWnUnDeR'.

Well what a day it was today. We did the radio show and it was a bloody ripper.
Luke Spekes (who recently featured on my Australian Radio Idol Competition), 
 dropped in with most his band 'Fats Wah Wah';
Joe,(Bass) Cam,(Guitar) and the 'Swamp Mummies'
Jackie & Denise on harmony vocals.
  They played a few of Lukes songs 'live to air' and we also featured
some tracks from the recently recorded album
which is not due for release until April.

Pete Laffy also joined us in the studio and we
 played 'Frogs Legs'from the Kingbees EP.

I myself featured with 2 blues versions of the karaoke weather.
We had an expected top of 29 degrees today.

You can see Luke & 'Fats Wha Wha' this Friday at the Aztec Bar in Belgrave
and every Saturday night at the Scarab Bar, also in Belgrave,
in the foothills of the Dandenong Ranges.

Catch Pete & the Kingbees live every Sunday arvo (from about 5 PM)
at the Prahran Hotel (in Prahran) 
For Pics of todays show, see the Merv's Music News Page)




We all ajourned down to the Para for a Parma and a pot ( or 2 )
After the Fats Wah Wah crew and Mr Laffy left, Nigel turned up
and we had a few games of pool.

MERV's MOVIE REVIEW on “Brokeback Mountain”
starring Australia’s Heath Ledger  

Every movie has it's time and place..
and the time and place for BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN
has come to late for a movie about gay cowboys..
it would've been the perfect 1950's movie to find locked in the
cupboard or closet..
 but now it's out!.. but what a shit title!..
cop a load of these alternative titles I came up with:

BAREBACK MOUNTING.. BAREBUM MOUNTING.. whoops,
I spelt Mountain wrong!!.. BAREBUM MOUNTAIN..
BAREASS MOUNTAIN.. SOREBACK MOUNTAIN.. GETOFFMYBACK MOUNTAIN..
 SHIRTLIFTER MOUNTAIN.. BACKDOOR MOUNTAIN..

and my co-host from MERV's AUSSIE TRAVEL ADVENTURES..
 The Tecoma Cowboy has thrown a big hissy fit
cos he didn't get the part..!..
I've always worried about The Tecoma Cowboy,
 as he is over 30, single & has not just 1 cat, but 2 cats!!??..
 does Heath Ledger's character have cats??

"Ooo Roo!" from BiG MERV ..
Coming soon MERV’s MOVIE REVIEWS as a regular segment.

Today I brought in my son Marvyn with me to the show and Pete Laffy dropped in too.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               photos©2005sHaMoZzLe

Here are some more pics of the day.

                

Today BiG Merv received a call from
his good 'ol mate Oscar Swarv
wishing him Happy 100^th Show on behalf of himself & his mates..
Chopper Read & “Jacko” aka Mark Jackson., & his cricket sporting mates..
Sir Richard Hadlee.. Sir Vivian Richards.. Dennis Lillee.. “The Other Merv” aka Merv Hughes..
Max Walker..  Greg Chappell.. Rodney Hogg.. “Boonie” aka David Boon.. & Dean Jones..
& his AFL Football mates.. “Dougie” aka Doug Hawkins.. “Dipper” aka Robert Dipierdomenico..
“Dermie” aka Dermott Brereton.. Danny Frawley.. John Barnes.. Sam Kekovich..
Peter “Crackers” Keenan.. David Rhyse--Joness   Tony Shaw.. Kevin Sheedy..
Sam Newman.. & Eddie McGuire.

And Oscar promised Merv Skilton that any of his mates could call Merv in the studio
 at any given time without warning.. maybe we can look forward to witnessing a 'Merv Off',
Merv Skilton vs. Merv Hughes.. & the biggest Mo will take all!