I received a crappy email from my mate Wolly from Far East Brighton, sometimes known as Hampton, Melbourne, Australia,on April 29th 2006 called "Help Me Win This Bet"... and I said to my wife Shirley that if any stupid  homepage could get 2 million or more hits like that crap one,  I could.. simply because you can take advantage of bored people at work & home all the time.. She said
"You idiot Merv!.. you couldn’t make a bloody homepage that could get 200,000 hits!" .. and she was bloody right for once!.. I stuffed up my first attempt !..  

I spelt my domain name wrong and used a second hand stat counter that buggered up!..  but I said to Shirley...

"this time I could do it hundred times better!".. and sometimes ya should think before ya open ya big trap..

cos 100 x 2,000,000 = 200,000,000 and I'll be setting a new Homepage World Record..
and Shirls held me to that so we made a bet..  

 

yes, 200 MiLLiON  Bloody HiTS, I would agree that I was a bloody idiot; however, if I could make a homepage get 200,000,000 hits, she would not leave me and the kids.. and would also have sex with me once a year on my birthday! (now that's bloody incredible when ya married with children!)..  and I really don't want to lose Shirley..

and half the farm house and stuff! ..but then she said she was very sure of herself as long as I followed her conditions, by not paying anything for advertising and keeping it legit by not putting in a
 fake link
that redirects itself to the same page ya already on for extra page hits! ..this of course is an ultra-bullshit thing to do.. and has been done before to help some Nancy win a bet so his girlfriend would have a "ménage a trois".. wotever that means.. 2 women or somethin'.. well I think one is a pain in the ass, why would any bloke want 2 of 'em if he got 2 million hits? .. whoopee bloody doo!..  well...um.. actually.. I did ask her
if we do the bet for a merange trifecta thingy-me-jig.. she yelled a few french words at me..
.so much for PLAN A...

PLAN  B:
..So, this is my somewhat lame attempt just to get a plain ol' root on my next birthday, get a World Record and save myself losing half my farm and stuff... so I’m pleading to all the blokes out there (and any supportive lovely ladies) to please forward this to as many people as possible so I can make my wife eat her own cooking... and more importantly get Merv a root and World Record to boot!..  and if I don't win the bet I'm going to ask one or two of her friends for a root.. and scout the local bars for a bit.. I might be lookin' for you!!.. but if you know of someone who might want BiG Merv's lovin'..

just sms text me.. ask Warnie to pass on my number!    

..but if ya don't want me and Shirley to split up, please hit on.. BiG MERV

 

  If I start getting 1000's of hits I'll post regular updates about it all.. and if I get all 200 Million Hits I'll post my wife's reaction with a photo of the expression on her face while I'm givin' her some "BML"... BiG MERV Lovin' for the first time in years!